I first felt my connection to the Divine in church as a young girl. Then one day, at a very young age, I had a very real experience of flying in my front yard. I told my parents and was corrected, told it isn’t possible to fly. It must have been a dream. Their explanation seemed to fall short. I knew what dreams felt like, and this was different, much more real and vivid, and it happened right there in the front yard!
Around the same age, I remember questioning their concept of God. It seemed really strange to me that there could be a gigantic invisible old man hovering in some unseen sky judging our every move, given that there’s no such thing as invisible magic and whatnot. What if it’s all made up so that we behave?
In spite of my skepticism, I shut down my own experience in order to fit into the norm. I didn’t tell many people when I started experiencing lucid dreams and sleep paralysis, seeing my sleeping body from above, or having disembodied voices teach me how to create manifestations in my dream world. I hid in forums where I could share anonymously about my lucid dream experiences and learn from others, which led me to actively question the nature of my dreams while conscious within them. What a trip!
I was also selective about who I told when I started learning to astral project – to consciously control an aspect of my form that travels beyond the physical world when I sleep.
Those experiences expanded my worldview (or should I say worlds-view?) far beyond what mainstream society considers normal. I was often afraid what others might think, especially my more traditionally Christian friends & family. I actually learned astral projection through Gnosticism, an early form of Christianity that honors the mystical and promotes knowledge of a Higher Power through direct experience of unseen forces – which is exactly what happened.
I had been reading a lot of Oliver Sacks neurological case studies & Vonnegut, listening to Carl Sagan. I considered myself a secular humanist and assumed that my vivid dreams were just byproducts of a creative subconscious. But the feeling when I consciously left my body for the first time was so undeniably real, just like that time I flew when I was a little girl. It became impossible to deny that there is more to this Universe than meets the eye. I woke up from that experience with Kundalini energy surging up and down my spine – a phenomenon I had only read a little bit about but that would later guide me to discover my path as a practitioner and teacher of yoga.
Since then, my beliefs have opened more and more. I’ve refused to close my mind to any non-physical or interdimensional possibility. I regularly pray to a Higher Power, communicate with angels & ascended masters, and believe it’s totally possible (and probable) that fairies exist. After all, I have met a very cheeky gnome and a few wise elves in the astral.
Today my waking life is filled with miracles, synchronicities, and answered prayers – a beautifully woven tapestry of mystical and mundane. My faith is unshakeable. I believe we all have a purpose to learn and grow together in this world and the many worlds I’ve glimpsed beyond. I have a richly fulfilling meditation practice, and I still explore the astral when I find myself there, though I don’t seek it out as much as I used to.
Lately I’ve felt called to give back, to perform shamanic healing rituals for the earth while projected between the worlds, to request lucid dreams on behalf of friends in need and receive guidance from their Higher Selves, to offer myself in surrender and trust that the process is always leading to joy, peace, love, and healing for all beings. I also feel and “see” energy as colors with my inner spiritual sight and am learning how to use this ability in energy healing sessions.
I don’t see how it could serve me or others to keep hiding my gifts. There are plenty of people in the world who understand or share similar experiences. And how can I use these gifts in service if I’m too afraid to speak about them?